“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” – Meister Eckhart
*******
Have you noticed it? The holidays are starting earlier and earlier. Now it’s no longer Black Friday. The entire month of November is dedicated to shopping. Christmas decorations have been up since the day after Halloween and holiday music is filling the airwaves.
Ah. The holidays. They stir much up in us, don’t they?
And it is Thanksgiving. Already. Despite the blare of commercialism, Turkey Day always sneaks up on me. As do those meetings in life where I am sent. That’s right. Sent.
Each morning I ask the Divine to lead me where I can be of service. It’s not about me, by any stretch. But about being open and present. Listening. I’m still learning how to do this. It’s a practice.
So today I ran into a neighbor. She’s been having a rough time of it since her husband died. She’s moving, plowing her way out of boxes and memories, and she’s still grieving. She doesn’t know how she’ll get through Thanksgiving. I opened my heart. I listened. I hugged her.
I bumped into another woman I know. She’s elderly and when I asked about her plans for Thanksgiving, she said she would be alone. I asked if I could bring her some food, visit with her. She said she had food and would be fine. Should I have pushed harder? The thought of her having no one on this holiday wrenched my spirit. I may still bring her some pie and leave it at her door.
These not-so-by-chance encounters (arranged by a Higher Power) led me to thinking that I am very blessed. But to be honest, it hasn’t felt that way. It’s been a more-than crap year for me. I fell and busted out my front teeth. Then I got ill. I’m still not 100 percent. Because of all this, I haven’t been able to care for dad as I once did.
The women I bumped into are having crap years, too. This isn’t about comparison, about whose suffering is greater than another’s, but about how life can often take away our breath, waylay us with pain, death, loneliness or whatever it is. How we are all in this thing called “being human” together.
Despite hardships, however, we can still find some inkling of gratitude in it all. Through my various health challenges, I had to keep reminding myself, “I have much to be thankful for. I am so blessed.” I didn’t break any bones. I have food and shelter, family and friends. I can breathe. Move.
Indeed, being thankful takes practice. Moment by moment. As one of my favorite authors Sue Monk Kidd writes:
“To internalize something requires practice—doing something over and over again until what was once foreign and difficult has become easier and more natural—second nature.”
Sue Monk-Kidd goes on to say:
“Gratitude is a virtue … it is about how we perceive and how we think about what we encounter. Seeing … that even though we might not have everything we want or the best of everything, what we do have is more than many people elsewhere have, that it is enough, and that what we do have is something that we can and ought to be grateful for if we appreciate it and get beyond our constant craving.”
So on Thanksgiving, I am thinking about my neighbor who lost her husband, the woman who will eat alone, all refugees displaced because of wars or natural disasters, those who are struggling without enough food or warmth or family. I am remembering them to the Divine and thankful for what I do have. And asking, how can I serve or help those who are hurting … in my own corner of the world?
Once I am fully mended, I am going to pursue that in earnest. I can’t give from an empty cup. But in truth, I know each time I am thankful — and of service — I am filling that cup.
So, yes, we have one official day of Thanksgiving. It’s a start. But it’s so much better to be thankful every day and every moment, where we focus on our blessings, all the while mindful that life is uncertain and we are all fragile.
And while the holidays seem to encroach on us earlier and earlier, perhaps we can use that time to gain a healthier perspective.
” … whenever we look at what we have and who we have as if for the last time—when we see people as fragile, imperfect, impermanent, hurt, struggling, and riding on a common train—then we have perspective,” Sue Monk Kidd writes.
So, yes, it’s all about perspective. And practice. The women I met today gave me both. And I am thankful.
Beautiful! Yes, being “Thankful needs practice”, Marielena, it is so easy to compare ourselves with others and be lost in translation, so important to focus on the message to truly appreciate, how truly blessed we are in spite of all the curve balls that life threw at us, one after another. It is not that we fell, it is about how we got up after the fall….Gratitude for seeing another day & having the wisdom to shape it, the way we want it, why would we not use the whole box of crayons , really ? Thank you, for your beautiful write up, Marielena, helped me stop & reflect on the bigger picture <3
Thank you yet again, dear Maya, for your beautiful, thoughtful and wonderfully-written comments. I love your phrase about “why would we not use the whole box of crayons” — just lovely! I’m so happy this blog post encouraged reflection about gratitude and the bigger picture. Your kind words always touch me, my friend. Thank you for reading my post. <3
<3
Well said, Marielena. Thoughtful and thought-provoking. To be thankful every day and every minute is a worthy goal – maybe the most worthy.
Thank you so much, Sandy! I’m so happy my post provoked thought and perhaps encouraged us all to practice gratitude on a daily basis.
Ahhhh, Marielena,
I read your blog …and know how blessed I am to know you, and how knowing this helps me in so many ways … deep gratitude coupled with further awareness of gratiude being just one of them.
Thank you dear friend. ♡
What a dear you are to read my blog posts and how your comments always touch my heart! Thank you, sweet friend. I am deeply grateful for you!
Beautiful, Marielena, thank you. An important reminder for me. I like every word, and was especially moved by… “…life can often take away our breath, waylay us with pain, death, loneliness or whatever it is. How we are all in this thing called “being human” together.” Yes, we feel our personal life deeply as it is happening.. and that can be overwhelming at times. And yes, we are together, and feeling that can be so sustaining. Another part that especially resonates with me is where you mentioned that to internalize something takes practice. I don’t think I really “lived in” gratitude until after I did such a practice. A daily writing down with pen and paper a list of gratitudes. And especially doing this when I felt angry, resentful, depressed or fed up about something. Arrrg! Yes, to acknowledge the hurt, etc. but then to move into gratitude, and to do it in writing. That was a difficult practice, and yet an amazing one! Because after a while, my mind just started “living in” gratitude! Like the path through the woods was beaten down enough for an easier follow, if you know what I mean. I think you have inspired me today to go back to that for a while. Especially in relation to my feelings about this country, my deep fears and worries for all of us living here and on this planet (in this scary sort of “climate”). I will write down what I am grateful for. And I will do it with paper and pen rather than keyboard and font. I think my mind might pay better attention that way.
Thank you so much! And my apologies for all these words, perhaps some of them are extra and not needed. xoxxo
How lovely and wonderful to see you hear, Kris! Thank you so much for reading my blog post and your comments. Your words actually inspired me and how — after practicing and living in gratitude — it became like a well-worn path. What beautiful imagery! And yes, there is something that goes directly to our heart and senses, I believe, when we write with paper and pen. We live in times of great chaos and change but in the midst of it, I am learning and “practicing” gratitude for it all. Big thanks again to you, my friend, for taking time to read this. <3